Leaving 1

So the little boy I mind is old enough to understand that I will be leaving. And his very upset about it. It is heartbreaking.

Today I explained to my little boy that I was very sad to be leaving him. But that both of us had exciting changes coming up in our lives. I said it was okay to be sad because we would miss each other. But that it was also okay to be happy and excited for all the changes.


"We're both kind of happy and sad and the same time today, right?" I said. "I'm sad because I am going to miss you but I am happy to see my family again." I pulled him in for a cuddle. "You're sad because you are going to miss me. But, you're excited for the new baby, for your new friend to live here, and summer camp right?"

He sighed and held up his left hand "This is sad." He said. Then he held up his right hand. "This is happy. And this is me." He smacked his hands together.
"You're stuck right in the middle?"
"Yes."

Yep the little fella sums it up pretty well for me too.

The Irish Way

My time in Ireland is ending.

A part of me is wicked excited for the next step.

The other part of me has an undeniable feeling of impending doom. Okay. More like impending unknown. And impending possiblity of having to get a summer job in customer service. Which, I naivly thought wouldn't be a nessecity after getting my bachelors.


Anyway. In a completly unrelated conversation the other day my host mom mentioned that "Just getting on with it" was a common Irish mentality to about any situation.

So that's what I'm trying to do.

I don't want it to sound like I hate the idea of leaving Ireland. I don't. It is just a big change.

But I'm Just-Getting-On-With-It.

I have a pretty fool-proof plan for this.

1. Write. I love writing. One friend pointed out that I should use this time of transition to really go crazy with writing because it will be comforting.

2. Work out-- This has been my goal all year. The first half I was really good. I have been less good since January. But I don't want to go home fluffy.

3. Paint my toe nails. It helps me feel good.

4. Help other people. Okay. I put this in because it felt like an incredibly self-absorbed blog post so far. Sure I'll help people. That sounds good. Or I'll at least state the intend so I don't look like such a selfish person.

5. Watch more Bones and less Spooks, Doctor Who, Eternal Law, Scott and Bailey, Last Tango in Halifax Hustle and Downton in an attempt to re-familairize myself with American culture.

6. Just kidding. I'm going to watch Spooks because it is what I do when I'm in the midst of a freak out.

Yeah that sounds about right.

Reading

I don't read as much as I used to.

I am sure there are many factors in this.

But. I have come up with a plan. My mother used to describe me as "She's not a control freak. She's a planner." I am feel much better with a plan.

So, here is my plan.

For the forseeable future I will be reading.

1 thing for fun
1 thing on history or current events
1 classic.
This will be on top of any beta reading I will do.

Currently

1 thing for fun -- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire-- UK/Ireland adult edition
1 thing on history or current events-- (pardon the Irish Slang) The Feckin' Book of Irish History for anyone who hasn't been paying attention for the last 30'000 years 
1 classic-- Crime and Punishment I have been reading this since last summer. I am on chapter nine. I actually really enjoy it when I remember I am reading it.

That's the plan. I'm now going to finish my book on Irish History.

 Wait-- oh yeah. Sleep... No. Goals first.

Passing

Today I was home sick. Not homesick, but literally stuck in my bed feeling icky.

So, I made a to do list, so as not to waste my not getting out of bed day by not doing anything .

I had five things on it. Five things that would take a chunk of time to do. Also, it was about four pm when I made the list. The list is merely for your reference. It probably won't make sense, it is just to give you an idea of the sort of tasks I'd set myself.

List is as Follows

1. Write argument scene
2. Apply for a job
3. Prepare interview questions
4. Message questions to Uni
5. Read friend's chapter

It is nine fifty eight now. And I have gotten three of the things on this list done.

Which I think is actually pretty good. Granted, I would be happier if all five were done. But, not accomplishing the two does not negate the fact that I did accomplish the three.

I am also thinking of going back and adding things I did accomplish just so I can tick them off.
I could put.

1. Go to shop
2. Go to post office find it closed, drop stamped and addressed letter in the drop box and give up on further errands
3. shower

4. watch spooks
5. Eat
6. Talk to family
7. Chat with host family 
8. Read scriptures
9. Wrote blog

I am struggling to create a good closing paragraph. Draw your own conclusions.

P.S. After writing this I went and completed another thing on the list. So that's four out of five. It is now eleven forty.