No particular order

The following is in no particular order.

1. I am so excited to Jacob LaFond. He is the member of my family that it has been the longest since I have seen. He is also one of my best friends.

2. Leaving these kids and this family is one of the hardest things I have ever done.

3. In my church we pay tithing eg. 10% of your income you give to the church. The church uses it to get aid to those who need it, to support education, to build temples and chapels ect. I have been very blessed for doing that this year.

4. I love European chocolate. I am considering giving up chocolate this summer. Because I need to loose weight somehow. Once I get to the point when I will like American chocolate again I will, hopefully be back in school in Wales.

5. A lot of people travel to meet new friends. I find a beautiful aspect of traveling is complete one on one time with yourself.

6. That isn't to say that I haven't made brilliant friends this year.

7. "Brilliant", "fantastic", "manky", "class", "posh" "hiya" "cheers" and "spanner" are now all part of my vocabulary.

8. I can say "That's mine." In Irish, which means that I can have an argument with a toddler in Irish.

9. I no longer use "British" and "English" as synonyms. because they are actually two very different things. Britain is the Kingdom comprised of four countries. England is one o those countries.

10. Along those lines, Ireland and Northern Ireland are different countries as well.  Approximately 6000 people have died in the last forty years fighting about this fact.

11. I have gone native. I can rattle on for hours about Irish history, specifically everything the English subjected the Irish too.

12. The Irish and the English are friends now. There will always be extremest on both sides. But, now the reasonable people have seen what catastrophic consequences listening to these people can have.

 13. I've said it before but again the Irish are some of the kindest and most genuine, generous and open people you will ever meet.

14. I will miss an efficient public transport system.

15. I had never seen Doctor Who before this year.

16. I did National (technically it is international) Novel Writing Month. I won.

17. I decided to get my post graduate degree in International Relations rather than Theatre, Film, and Performance.

18. I have been accepted into the best program in the UK for International Relations.

19. Irish people don't name their children Shannon.That was a name Irish Americans came up with who missed Ireland.

20. I have been to four countries this year. Not as many as I thought. But still impressive and I loved them all.


21. I made it most the year basically without a bank account. I will be glad to have one again.

22. Excited for flip-flops again.

23. It feels like I am going to a foreign country rather than my native one.

24. Excited to go to thrift stores with my mom and sister.

25.Turns out "Gypsy" has very negative connotations in Ireland. When you say Gypsy here you are not referring to a fairy-tale like people based on real people but who have become very romanticized. Here if I were to call myself a Gypsy people would interpret it as my calling myself a crack-whore. Not that all people of traveler dissent are bad. But that is what the word "Gypsy" carries. So yeah, that made this blog title interesting.

London Baby

Over Easter Break I went to London.
It was an exhausting and beautiful mini break. Why I am blogging about it now? Because I am waiting for my mom to get online and call me so I can talk to her about arriving tomorrow. Also I need to stay up all night so I can hopefully sleep through my 14 hour excursion home tomorrow.

Day one was a Friday. My host mom let me off early in the afternoon and gave me an extra thirty euros bonus because I'd had a few extra hours that week. Well, that was the reason she gave. Mostly she is just nice.

Because of my early afternoon I got to the air-port hours early. It was nice to be on my way... but airports get boring after about six hours when your gate isn't even yet listed.

I got a look of myself in the bathroom mirror and I looked so bad. Saggy eyes and wrinkly eyes. Megan would have held me down and pushed eye cream on me. Anyway. Then I was board and positive my eyes were ugly. It is funny what you obsess over.

Finally, when I thought I was going to die of a migraine I was on the plane. Luckily, it is like 45 minutes from Dublin to London by flight.

I managed to find a shuttle to Victoria Station. There was a nice Lithuanian girl who let me know which stop was Victoria. Once there I tried to find the bus that my directions said would take me to my hostel. A muscular, tall, beautiful Middle Eastern man saw me waiting and asked me if I would like to come back to his hotel room with him.
This scared the begeebers out of me. I ran to the other side of the street and hailed a cab and hopped in.
But, on the positive side as creeped out as I was I felt better about the bags under my eyes.


My hostel turned out to be like the mankiest place in London. It was apparent after two minutes inside that the "No smoking" rules were a formality.

But I was able to get enough sleep to head out for an adventurous weekend.

SATURDAY:

St. Paul's Cathedral. Didn't get to go in this time. But I saw it at a distance and it is just so lovely. Supposedly during the London Blitz  in WWII every morning Churchill would ask "Is St. Paul's still standing?" And miraculously it always was.

London Fire memorial.

Tower of London.

Entrance.

Tower Bridge from Tower of London

I don't know but it was lovely so I shot it.

London from Tower.

Real Entrance

Traitor's Gate. I have been reading about this place since I was... what fourteen? Most people who entered this way never left again.

 

Look at all the tourists. He also had an old woman executed here. Her crime? Her son, The Cardinal I think, had pissed him off. But this son was in Rome doing Church things. So, Henry had his mother killed. She refused to put her head on the block saying, I am paraphrasing  "That is for traitors and I am innocent." She then picked up her skirts and ran. The executioner chased after her hacking her to death. An old woman. An innocent old woman.

The bottom floor was where they tortured people. They lived in higher floors. I am not kidding this is a creepy place.

That is where the Crown Jewels are kept. It seemed silly to go all that way and not see them. But the que was much to long. Hours long. Which means you would have been herded pas the jewels once you finally got there anyway. So, I didn't see them. Maybe next time. If I ever go back. The Tower actually really shook me up.

These are the houses where the Yomen live with their families. Which is cool.

Memorial to Anne Boleyn, Catherine Howard, and Jane Grey.

But one of these homes is where poor Jane Grey was forced to wait and watch as they dragged her husband away to be beheaded. By the way, both of them were teenagers. She was somewhere between 15 and 17. She then had to watch them drag his headless body back past the window. Then she watched as they built the scaffolding for her own beheading. Then the poor girl was beheaded. I knew all this. I have read about this for years. But still, the cruelty people can impose on one another still appalls me like it is the first time I have heard it.

Top Old Cannon. Bottom ruins of the Original Wall of London.

Getting artsy.

Tower Bridge.

 I also went to Harrods the largest department store on Saturday night. It was lovely. Lush lip-sticks, silky gloves, clothes to make you faint... I bought a stake pie and chocolate. It was Easter after all.

 

 

Sunday:

That's right! Portobello Road.

221 B Baker St. It was closed. But the nice "bobby" in the gift shop gave me one of the consulting detective's business cards.

MONDAY

Big Ben

Westminster Abbey.

Home again home again.

Leaving 1

So the little boy I mind is old enough to understand that I will be leaving. And his very upset about it. It is heartbreaking.

Today I explained to my little boy that I was very sad to be leaving him. But that both of us had exciting changes coming up in our lives. I said it was okay to be sad because we would miss each other. But that it was also okay to be happy and excited for all the changes.


"We're both kind of happy and sad and the same time today, right?" I said. "I'm sad because I am going to miss you but I am happy to see my family again." I pulled him in for a cuddle. "You're sad because you are going to miss me. But, you're excited for the new baby, for your new friend to live here, and summer camp right?"

He sighed and held up his left hand "This is sad." He said. Then he held up his right hand. "This is happy. And this is me." He smacked his hands together.
"You're stuck right in the middle?"
"Yes."

Yep the little fella sums it up pretty well for me too.

The Irish Way

My time in Ireland is ending.

A part of me is wicked excited for the next step.

The other part of me has an undeniable feeling of impending doom. Okay. More like impending unknown. And impending possiblity of having to get a summer job in customer service. Which, I naivly thought wouldn't be a nessecity after getting my bachelors.


Anyway. In a completly unrelated conversation the other day my host mom mentioned that "Just getting on with it" was a common Irish mentality to about any situation.

So that's what I'm trying to do.

I don't want it to sound like I hate the idea of leaving Ireland. I don't. It is just a big change.

But I'm Just-Getting-On-With-It.

I have a pretty fool-proof plan for this.

1. Write. I love writing. One friend pointed out that I should use this time of transition to really go crazy with writing because it will be comforting.

2. Work out-- This has been my goal all year. The first half I was really good. I have been less good since January. But I don't want to go home fluffy.

3. Paint my toe nails. It helps me feel good.

4. Help other people. Okay. I put this in because it felt like an incredibly self-absorbed blog post so far. Sure I'll help people. That sounds good. Or I'll at least state the intend so I don't look like such a selfish person.

5. Watch more Bones and less Spooks, Doctor Who, Eternal Law, Scott and Bailey, Last Tango in Halifax Hustle and Downton in an attempt to re-familairize myself with American culture.

6. Just kidding. I'm going to watch Spooks because it is what I do when I'm in the midst of a freak out.

Yeah that sounds about right.

Reading

I don't read as much as I used to.

I am sure there are many factors in this.

But. I have come up with a plan. My mother used to describe me as "She's not a control freak. She's a planner." I am feel much better with a plan.

So, here is my plan.

For the forseeable future I will be reading.

1 thing for fun
1 thing on history or current events
1 classic.
This will be on top of any beta reading I will do.

Currently

1 thing for fun -- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire-- UK/Ireland adult edition
1 thing on history or current events-- (pardon the Irish Slang) The Feckin' Book of Irish History for anyone who hasn't been paying attention for the last 30'000 years 
1 classic-- Crime and Punishment I have been reading this since last summer. I am on chapter nine. I actually really enjoy it when I remember I am reading it.

That's the plan. I'm now going to finish my book on Irish History.

 Wait-- oh yeah. Sleep... No. Goals first.

Passing

Today I was home sick. Not homesick, but literally stuck in my bed feeling icky.

So, I made a to do list, so as not to waste my not getting out of bed day by not doing anything .

I had five things on it. Five things that would take a chunk of time to do. Also, it was about four pm when I made the list. The list is merely for your reference. It probably won't make sense, it is just to give you an idea of the sort of tasks I'd set myself.

List is as Follows

1. Write argument scene
2. Apply for a job
3. Prepare interview questions
4. Message questions to Uni
5. Read friend's chapter

It is nine fifty eight now. And I have gotten three of the things on this list done.

Which I think is actually pretty good. Granted, I would be happier if all five were done. But, not accomplishing the two does not negate the fact that I did accomplish the three.

I am also thinking of going back and adding things I did accomplish just so I can tick them off.
I could put.

1. Go to shop
2. Go to post office find it closed, drop stamped and addressed letter in the drop box and give up on further errands
3. shower

4. watch spooks
5. Eat
6. Talk to family
7. Chat with host family 
8. Read scriptures
9. Wrote blog

I am struggling to create a good closing paragraph. Draw your own conclusions.

P.S. After writing this I went and completed another thing on the list. So that's four out of five. It is now eleven forty.

Bridge

Today I went to Dublin to do some shopping. I  stopped while on the bridge to just enjoy the moment. I was staring at the river and beautiful view of the city. I was thinking it was the exact same place where about three years ago I gazed at this amazing city for the first time. And how lucky I was to be back. I was thinking that except for Branson I had a lot in common with Sybil from Downton. Okay, maybe the only thing I had in common with her was moving to Ireland. But still, it is a big thing.  Picture of me on same bridge three years ago.

When all of a sudden this grandad came up to me and was like "Don't jump!"
I responded with something, witty, charming and relevant like "Um... I wasn't going to. I was looking."

Then he said. "Be safe. You have to watch out. Hold your bag in the front love. There. Be safe. Be careful."

I was like. "Um okay. Thank you."

He wasn't satisfied until I backed away from the railing of the bridge and moved on with my shopping. "Alright now."

It was funny and sweet. I am a granddad magnet. Seriously. Old men just appear to help me. It is a genetic thing actually, my mom has it too.

But on a less funny note I saw two Nazis today. I was shocked. Two kids in white body suits covering their whole bodies ( I guess that is implied in the title "body suit") masks and swastikas attached to the hoods of the body suits. It was actually very disturbing.

I guess this is a post on the incredible range of the human species. We have old men who stop to help young girls. Even when said girl was not melancholy so much as philosophical. But we also have members of our species who embrace and revel in hate.

Parents and Aliens

This weekend my dad told me: "Never trust anyone who says Nutella is bad for you."
While my mom told me: "Your future requires money!"
There is only one explanation. The aliens, after doing whatever aliens do, put the brains back in the opposite bodies.

While this change has been difficult to adjust to I am left with two questions.
1. Did the aliens do this switch deliberately? 
2. Why were the aliens using people residing in Beaver County as part of their test?

I surely hope that it isn't a test only on people from Beaver County. I mean, they are going to get some pretty skewed results of the human race if they are only looking at Beaver County. But, then my parents aren't from Beaver County. I don't know. I'm not an alien expert. 

Okay their might be two explanations.
1. Alien experimentation on my parents causing brain mix up. Whether deliberate or accidental remains unclear.

2. Way too much Doctor Who this weekend. Way too much. Time to go watch a sick, but very much set in real-life, murder mystery.

London an Intro

I spend Easter Weekend in London. Just to get away and to be by myself. Just me and a new place.  Well, semi-new. I've been there once before.

I love London. Literally. It is one of my favorite settings. The city of Shakespeare, of Spooks, of Sherlock, of Platform 9 3/4 and a million others of my favorite stories and things.
It is the city of hundreds of years of fascinating history.
It is an amazing and beautiful city.

So why was I not enjoying myself?

I was on the trip I'd saved money for. That I'd looked forward too. I had been dreaming of this trip for basically three years since I had last seen London.

But now I was there. I was exhausted, annoyed, and wishing I was in my bed and watching TV or reading a book.

This was discouraging. I wanted to love this city. I wanted to feel inspired and enlightened and instead I was just exhausted. London in my mind was one of my favorite cities. Just like Galway or Edinburgh or D.C. But now that I was here I felt like Adele, lamenting that my deep passion lay unrequited.

I was so upset about this that I actually lay awake on Saturday night agonizing over it. Then I realized. I was in love with the London of the stories I loved. Now, a lot of these stories went to great lengths to capture London. But, that didn't change the fact the London I thought I knew I knew from other people's eyes. I had only ever been there once myself and had spent most the time in various theatre-- no regrets.

The main problem was that I was tired so tired. Too tired to really let these places have an emotional impact. Travel is always exhausting. But this was worse than tired. This was zombie walking through the holiday I'd been looking forward to.

So Saturday night, while pretending to be asleep on the wrecked hostel pillow as my Spanish roommates discussed their party plans for the night in steryo-typically loud voices, I made a plan. I would cut some things out of my list to see, I wasn't going to make it to most of them anyway at this rate. And, if I officially cut them from the list I wouldn't be stressing about missing them. I needed to relax. I needed to enjoy these things. I wouldn't see everything. But I would be happy seeing the things I did instead of just crossing off check marks.

London was huge city. It wouldn't become on of MY cities right away. I need to quit pushing expectations onto this place and just enjoy it. Furthermore I needed to quit comparing it to other trips. Like Edinburgh, I had loved every minute of that trip, but until now I had somehow allowed myself to forget that I had zombie walked through the beginning of that one too.

Slow down. Enjoy the city for itself as I saw it. 

And you know what? It worked.

I'm not saying that next time I go to London I won't be overwhelmed and exhausted. But, I am saying that London is still one of my favorite cities and this trip was great.

A tale of two monsters. One is an emotional trap and one is a cat.

The cat managed to squeeze her fat body through the child safety gate this morning. So while I was trying to get some productive me time before the morning officially started she was howling outside my door.

Then, wouldn't you know it the little boy woke up.


The cat and I have not been on speaking terms the rest of the day.

The morning went fine... toward the afternoon started to unravel. Nothing specific. Just little kids getting over colds and not in the mood to do what we had to do. Like eat lunch or go to school.

But we got out the door. We got to school. We got home. By the time I got the little girl down for her afternoon I was not in the best Madison Mood.


Then I got rejected for an online blogging job.
And the online magazine that has offered me a freelance job still isn't publishing any of my work.

I was stressed, annoyed with myself for being stressed, worried I'd been to sharp with the kids and basically just wanting my mom or my grandma.

Then I remembered that it was time for my weekly accountability in my writing group. Given that we literally spread across the globe and all at different stages in our writing we have decided the best thing is to post a bi-weekly word count. I posted honestly that I had not written a lot in my novel but had written a lot on the internet. Which made me feel guilty because a goal of mine in doing more writing for money was not to loose my artistic and personal writing.  Oooops.

While I was down on myself I decided to go on Pinterest and pin workouts. Just to make myself feel guilty for not working out basically since I decided it was my goal for Lent.


Then I decided to stop. Just stop. I wanted to get rid this mood-- which had basically come from being pissed off at a cat and mutated into a full fledged "I SUCK DAY".

So, I turned on my favorite show. Yes, I did feel guilty for watching TV when I should be working. And for watching something pirated on the internet.

But I needed to shake this mood before my little girl woke up-- it wasn't fair on her to have a cold and a grumpy au-pair.


I calmed down as the inciting incident insued. While the baddies were taking hostages I began to think.

What was I really feeling so guilty for? Why was I celebrating an "I SUCK DAY"?

Because the cat had annoyed me and woken up the kids? Well, that is life and not really anything I should hate myself for.

Because the kids had been a bit temperamental? Well, I had dealt with it. Possibly not perfectly. But, then what all things considered we had had a good day. They had eaten nutritious meals. And we had I had played games with them and read stories. It's not like I didn't do my job and most the morning they were happy. They were sick and sleepy by lunch time. I hadn't given them a cold, so it wasn't a reason to hate myself.

I got rejected from a job I didn't really want. There was still plenty of work for me on different sites. Besides, more time for personal writing.

That the online magazine wasn't getting back to me? Well there was nothing I could do about that. I had done what I could. Again, more time for personal writing.


That I hadn't worked out? Well, I had taken the kids to the park that morning, which is on the other side of town. And once there we played a lot of tag, which was actually quite the workout. And another fun time I'd had with the kids. So this one was actually exercise and proof that I wasn't an awful caregiver.

That I was watching TV? Was there really a reason not to do something I knew would put me in a better mood? For watching it pirated? Well, yes. This is wrong. But technically I have this series (Yes, I have seen every episode of this show at least 8 times.)  on DVD but it is an American DVD and doesn't work here.

So really I was left with no reason to hate myself. Then I was confused.  Wait, I didn't have to feel guilty?

But guilt was such a constant companion in my life. What would I ever do without it? There was no substance to anything I was guilt tripping myself over, but I was still beating myself up over them because, surely,  for some reason I should feel guilty.

Except I didn't need to feel guilty, as much as I habitually do walk around with this feeling. Why? Because I'm a woman? LDS? An artist? and that is simply how we live our lives??

Why???

St. Patrick's Day in Ireland

This weekend was St. Patrick's Bank Holiday Weekend!!

But turns out that St. Patrick's Day in Ireland is much different than it is in the states.


Like when I mentioned to my host mom that people in the states eat corn beef and cabage to celebrate this day she went : "Ugh. The Irish never eat corn beef. It's disgusting. The English eat that, they love their processed meet. Traditional St. Patrick's dinner is lamb. Which I also hate. So we'll be having curry chips."


But besides lamb St. Patrick's day also means another thing. The invasion of the Americans. Seriously so many Americans. All enjoyed the tradition of getting wasted. So, if they weren't loud before they were now. I don't drink so I didn't indulge in this tradition.

I think there was a parade on. But I didn't go see it. After working at Disney I have this aversion to parades. Seeing one would probably send me in to post-Vietnam like flash backs. 

So I didn't see the parade or go drinking.

What I did on St. Patrick's day in Ireland.

Well, I was going to go to a YSA convention down in Limerick. That didn't happen.

So I went into the city and allowed myself to buy pretty things I have been denying myself. Earrings, new make-up ect.

Then Sunday I went to church, and mentally made fun of the Americans on the bus.

Today I went for a long walk. It was amazing. I felt like James Herriot with all the country lanes. Then I wrote content. Then I caught up on Once Upon a Time... which is pandering in my opinion. We had potato and leak soup for lunch in honor of my being accepted into Aberystwyt. Then I took a long nap. Then I watched more TV. Then started beta reading an amazing manuscript and read a bit of Harry Potter.

Also been day dreaming about my trip to London coming up... can't even contain my excitement.

Yeah I don't have a closing paragraph. Deal with it. 

Things that freak me out

People have been telling me lately that I am brave. Which sounds like I'm bragging but it is true. My friends and relatives have been telling me that I am brave for the things I am doing. Mostly moving aboard and then going to graduate school abroad.

It is very nice of them to say but I don't think these choices make me brave. Because I wasn't scared of moving abroad.
Being brave is doing things that scare you. I know this because I have had to be brave sometimes.

Anyway. I decided to do a blog on things that scare me.


 1. Poisoned lip balm. I have a fear when I buy new lip balm that some psycho will have poisoned it and my lips will burn up or fall off.  So far neither has happened. Yet.

2. That I will be on the bus and the bus driver will turn out to be a terrorist and take the whole coach captive. Again, this hasn't happened yet.






3. Spiders and snakes. Most people are afraid of only one. seriously, this picture alone is giving me the shivers. 


4. Going blind and not being able to read or see the visual story telling in film. Sorry no image could do this terror justice.

5. People. People kind of scare me.  I think it is left-over shyness from my childhood. As a friend pointed out it was pretty ironic that I was always worried about who my roommates would be when I went back to school, but the  idea of moving in with strangers across the Atlantic was fine with me.

6. Sales Associates are especially terrifying. I always tell them I don't need help even when I do because they scare me. Even in Lush, my all time favorite store, with the all time best staff-- well, basically I choose which product to look at based on how close the customer service staff are to the product and how likely they are to pounce on me if I look at it.

7. Cars and driving are possibly the most terrifying things to me. See look at this picture. Tell me this menace  doesn't look like it is scowling, planning out demise.












8. Talking on the phone. Almost as scary as driving a car.


So, see I am not inherently brave. I am just not afraid of average things. 





 

This Scarf

A few years ago my Easter gift from my mom was a green scarf. I got it on the night before we departed for my little brother's Make a Wish Cruise.

Mary Chapin Carpenter wrote and sang an song called "This Shirt". If you have never heard it, look it up on youtube now.
Anyway, I don't have shirt like that but I have my green scarf.

I wore it on my first visit abroad.

It was essential to my first as an adult pirate costume party.

It loyally attempted to keep me warm in Idaho.

I wear it with my red leather jacket. Which actually looks much nicer than it sounds.

I use it dry the slides from rain and dew when I take the kids to the park.

I wore it on my first trip to Scotland. Which means I also wore it to the coffee shop J.K. Rowling wrote HP in. That's me and my scarf.



I know I wore it on my second trip to Belfast. Probably my first too.

I know I have worn it all over Ireland.

But this Saturday night I was sitting in the cinema (movie theater) with my friends and I realized I didn't have it. I knew I had it when I'd come in.

But it was no longer with me. I couldn't focus on the hot guy in the movie because I was already morning for my lost scarf.

Once the movie was over I looked where I had sat for a bit in the lobby. No scarf.

I decided to do something drastic. I asked the girl selling tickets if there was a lost and found. I have an irrational fear of customer service people.

But my bravery was rewarded by my being united with my baby.

The End.

stories.

I was putting the kids to bed tonight after the end of a 13ish hour day. I had just read three Tilly Stories (I'm pretty sure it was at least the fifth time I had read one of them, and probably the third time I had read the other two today.)

When the little boy said "What about my story?"

"Madison just read you three stories baby." I said.

"No, tell."

I sat back down usually I would have stuck with my 'I already read you three stories' line but the kid had had a long day too. "What do you want me to tell you a story about?"

"Prince and a dragon."

"Is the dragon a goodie or a baddie?" I asked.

"Goodie."

I proceeded to tell a fun story, if I do say so myself, about a frightened Prince. A dragon with a cold. And a "discusging and gross", the kid's words not mine, witch.

I'm just saying the so called useless degree I got in English and theatre really helped end today on a high note.   

Lent

I'm not Catholic.

I don't think this should be a surprise to anyone who reads this blog.

I'm an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

But I do have some very dear Catholic friends, I think it is a beautiful religion, and I am currently in Ireland.

Brief History of Religion in Ireland According to Madison's Understanding: Take With A Grain of Salt

A long time ago, King Henry broke off from the Catholic Church because... don't get me side tracked. Anyway. The Irish were under British Rule at this time. But they didn't want to be Anglicans. They wanted to stay Catholic. Well, that and they wanted to thwart the English.

One of the ways the English decided to deal with this was to introduce Penal Laws. Which basically kept the Catholics, and non-approved Protestants, as lowly as possible. Couldn't hold public office, couldn't be educated, couldn't ride much less own a horse that was worth more than a certain amount. 

But this gave the Irish more to hate the English for. So no one backed off. 

Anyway, because of  all this, generations later when religion is not quite such a passionate thing (in some places) people still celebrate things like Lent.

I have never celebrated Lent before but I will this year.

Why?

Because I feel that improvement is always a good thing. And while I don't have any religious connection to this holiday I do an ancestral relation to this religion and its traditions.

But I am not going to give up something like meat or chocolate when I will just pick it back up in a few weeks.

I have decided to pick something up for Lent for improvement.

I have fallen into a rut over the last few months of not working out.  So, every day for Lent I will work out. How long does it take to make a habit? Anyway, I figure by the end of forty days I will be back in the habit.

Nightmares

My dad once told me when I was little that we had dreams about whatever we were thinking about before we fell asleep. When I was little I went to extreme care to only think about nice sugary things before I slept as to prevent nightmares. Somewhere along the line I must have forgotten this bit of wisdom.  So now I'm going to elaborate on it.


Don't think about Doctor Who as you are falling asleep. It is just not a good idea.

I know what you are thinking.
1. Madison, isn't that a show for twelve year olds.

2. It is a pretty sweet cuddly story. Why would the girl who habitually watches a blood curdling murder mystery before bed be telling us to avoid Doctor Who before bed? I mean it is about a cute guy who travels with a cute girls in a blue box fighting aliens that look suspisouly like rubbish bins.

But you know what ssshhhh.

Last night I couldn't sleep. But I was trying to force myself.

So I began to think of all the ways I would approach trying to identify a corpse. Granted the only knowledge I have to this is stuff I have gathered from various plot points of a varety of murder mystery shows. I have no actual real knowledge of identifying a body. But I did come up with several things that work in the movies. So if I were ever in a fictional world and had to identify a body then I would be set.


Then as I was drifting off I thought about Doctor Who. More specifically I was thinking about how no one likes Martha and how unfair that is. And how I think I would like to be when I grow up. But how my mom says I can't be Martha because she isn't cynical.

Then remembered how I admired Martha's willingness to blow up the earth if it meant preventing the rubbish-bin aliens of using the planet for their diabolical ends.

As I said, I admire this. My sister thought it was wrong.

That must have been the last thought I had before drifting off. Because I had a nightmare that these horrible aliens, which did not look like rubbish bins so much Dementors from Harry Potter had taken over the planet.

They were sucking souls left and right, torturing, and doing sick experiments.
And no one could kill them. There was no stopping the awful carnage these horrible beings were inflicting on my planet.

There were a small band of us resisting. We realized that the only resource that we had left against these creatures were atom bombs.
Which would wipe out humanity in the targeted area, the living would envy the dead, and we had no idea if it would even have any effect on the Dementor-like-aliens.

David Tennant did not make a timely appearance to help us solve this conundrum. Nor did Matt Smith or Christopher Eccleston.

















That's right. They all left earth to rot. And me to make the impossible choice. Jerks. I don't think I will ever forgive them. 

The choice fell on me. Did we use the atom bomb in a gamble or not?

I remember thinking "I have spent my career calling for disarmament and now I am contemplating using them. Willing to sacrifice civilians on a gamble."

Apparently in this nightmare I had had an impressive career up to the disaster of the alien invasion. So it wasn't all bad.

But then I decided that the living already envied the dead with these aliens running things. And we had to try something.

So my little band and I sent the bombs off and then had to wait to hear if it had helped anything or just caused more death and destruction.

I was so shaken when I woke up. But as I settled down I had to wonder about my sick mind. I had thought about identifying a body and was fine. But Doctor Who gave me nightmares.

The Moment I Knew

Guys I have come to a realization over the last few months. Which is:

I am not Taylor Swift.


I know the hair and my inablity not to look like a five year playing dress up when I try dramatic lip colors should have been a give away.

 And the money.

And my lack of dating drama.


But really "The Moment I Knew" I wasn't Taylor Swift was when I realized I was hearing her lyrics wrong. Well, probably hearing them correctly but translating them to my own life.

Like in her song "22" there is a line where she says "It feels like a perfect night to make fun of our exes."

I realized I was singing "It feels like a perfect night to make fun of our accents."

I have a thick American accent. My friends here in Ireland have a wide range of accents. And we all tent to make fun of each others. And the people from Cork. We all make fun of the Cork accent. My "22" friends and I are more likely to make fun of our own and others accents than we are to make fun of our exes. So, I tend to just assume that is what Taylor is singing.

Then in her song "All Too Well" she says something about stairs. " Down the stairs I was there, I remember it all too well." I hear "County Clare, I was there, I remember it all too well." I guess I have stronger memories of the lovely County Clare than I do any given stair case.












I don't have the energy to come up with a concluding paragraph. Here are two pictures.

Zombies

Okay I really don't understand the fascination/phobia that culture has with zombies. I mean I guess the idea of undead is scary, but I mean no one is talking about preparing for the vampire apocalypse. I mean there are lots of scary mythical creatures. And yes, they are mythical creatures much like vampires. Not an invention of twentieth or twenty first century.  The living dead come up in historical Welsh legends I'm pretty sure. I can't be bothered to actually look it up now though.

Anyway. Today I was talking to my mom-- this does connect with the ramble above. I promise.

My mom started telling me she had to go and do school work with my little brother. He is home schooled. In a frantic attempt to keep me online, talking to mom and thus delaying the inevitable of his getting back to work, he started asking me questions. This is a common practice of his. But as a verteran of homeschooling I understand the ingrained need to struggle against math assignments out of principle so I usually help the kid out.

Eli (frantically) : "Madi! I have a question!"

Me: "Go for it."

Eli: "This is an important question. And I believe your answer reveals a great deal about your personality. How would you respond to the zombie apocalypse?"

Me: "Seriously zombies? Why does everyone go on about zombies--"

Mom (in desperate attempt to avoid a rant similar to my opening paragraph): "You want to know what I would do?"

Eli: "No. Shhh. Don't help her."

Me: "NO!! Guys I know what I would do!! I would round up all the annoying people into one place. Then I would inject them with a virus. Then I would leave them for the zombies. The zombies would eat them but also be poisoned. Thus solving our problem of annoying people and zombies. We could get rid of zombies and annoying people! It is another step in evolution!"

Mom (slowly):"Eli's right. That answer does say a lot about your personality."

Being a Grown Up

Somethings about being a grown up really aren't fun.

This shouldn't be news to anyone.

But I'm trying to look on the bright side. Here is a list of things I like about being a grown up.

1. I can eat chocolate before dinner.

2. I can eat chocolate whenever I want.

3. I can stay up incredibly late watching TV/movies that I have memorized.

4. I can check out library books I already have memorized. Yes this is a big perk. When I was in my pre-teens I distinctly remember my mom sending me back to get a Boxcar Children book I hadn't read because I had read the first one "too many times". This coming from the woman who basically continuously reads Persuasion.

5. I don't have to take gym class.

6. When I do work out I can do what I want. Like yoga as opposed to basket ball.

7. I don't have to take math.

8. I don't get told to play outside more.

9. I shop for myself.

10. I can smirk at people younger than myself.

11. I have learned not to get bangs/fringe.

12. Sometimes quitters win.

13. It is great to still have relationships with your siblings without having to share with them.

Okay I thought of thirteen reasons. Which might be ominous somehow. I'm sure there are more reasons. But now I have to go watch more TV... or maybe just sleep. 

New Years Resolutions but not

I have this thing about following traditions. I don't like to. At all. Which might be considered ironic when one considers that I have fairly traditional values. But then maybe it is because of that. Anyway.

I have several reasons for not making New Years Resolutions this year.

1. There is much too much chocolate in this house to consider abstaining from it.

2. I made several goals for my year in Ireland which began and will end in June. I'm still focusing on those.

3. I don't want to make goals at this traditional time. Simply because, yes, I like to flaunt tradition. Even good ones. I do think that the yearly practice of evaluating yourself and trying to improve yourself is a good one.

But while my mom and I were discussing this we came up with a brilliant idea. Even by our standards.

Anti-New Years Resolutions

Examples

1. Eat all the chocolate in the house.

2. Watch too much tv

3. Read all the novels you want

4. Sleep in

 I don't know. They seem like more fun than giving up chocolate. Even if that is what I should probably do.

2012 in review

One of said manuscripts was a NANOWRIMO, which means I wrote 50'000 words plus in 30 days 

Lived in: 
Orlando-- I was still there for a couple days at the beginning of 2012
Idaho-- Lived there until April.
Colorado-- Lived there April/May.
Pennsylvania-- Lived here about a week before moving to drum-roll please.
Galway Ireland.-- Lived here since June 2nd.

Visited:
Ireland (Republic of)
Galway-- Well, I live here but it is great and a major tourist attraction so there.
Cliffs of Moher
Poulnabrone Dolmen-- older than the pyramids.
Connemara 
 Kylemore Abbey 
Cork --practically lived here, traveling every week for a class.
Limerick-- There was a castle
Dublin-- I've been before but it's only a few hours by bus and a great city.
Northern Ireland
Belfast-- how could I be so ignorant of current events????
Also a YSA conference I didn't hate, lots of new friends and Latin dancing. Latin dancing isn't what I think of when I think of Northern Ireland (Well, it wasn't until this activity) but it was really fun.
Scotland
Edinburgh-- One of my favorite cities I have ever been too. The whole time I felt like I was in Hogsmede because it is such a historic city. I had breakfast twice at the Elephant House, a.k.a. the birthplace of Harry Potter.


Pretty sure I've left stuff out. But oh well.

Done 
Completed Disney College Program Internship 

Tech. Phedra out of the goodness of my heart with two nights to learn my part.

Graduated College with Degree in English and minor in theatre

Had play accepted into BYU-I Research and Creative Works Conference

Said play won best dramatic work in advanced creative writing class. I won a Gothic candle stick as a prize. Only slightly marred by the fact that I was the only student to attempt to write a script.

Got a job  abroad

Moved abroad 

Took a film acting class

Wrote 2 novel manuscripts


Discovered I like photography

Own a briefcase

Called as Youth Sunday School Teacher

Started wearing small, stud earrings because it is more difficult for children to yank them out of your ear lobes

Started reading for fun again

My brother got married. I wasn't there and it isn't by any means my accomplishment, but it would be wrong not to mention it.

Started sketching again
 
Now I have for sure left stuff out here.